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College Issues Rub Me Backwards
This weekend I was seriously bummed because I was chillin' with my mom in her new truck and we were coming home from the State Fairgrounds when I mentioned to her about my plans to go to California to attend UCLA. Well, my dad already knows about my plans and he's cool with it. He doesn't really know how I'm gonna do it, but he's still supportive. Mother, on the other hand, has a sign around her 24/7 that can be clearly read as, "MONEY CONCERNS? Proceed with caution!" So, I kinda had to build up to the news. First, I mention to her that I've decided I know what I want to major in.

"Screenwriting and Directing. I wanna make movies, mom!"
Her response: "Sounds great! You better find a school with those majors!"

One month later!

"Well, mom, there are no schools in Washington State that offer screenwriting or directing majors."
Her response: "Well, then, you're probably going to have to major in something else then."

I fight back the horrifying screams that are launching from the insides of my toes up toward my nasal passage and through my mouth...

One month later.

"So mom, UCLA offers an amazing film school and I was thinking I could move down there with Aunt Hol and go there."
Her response: "Ok, but you know I can't pay for you to go there."

That's when I begin to cry. Ok, so I know it sounds totally selfish, but just about every college student in the world gets help from their parents and I always felt like God would provide the things I needed to go to UCLA, but now that my mother says that she cannot afford to send me there at all kinda dampens on my dreams.

So lately, I've been kinda mopey around the house when no one is around. I keep thinking, I know this is what I want to do. God is leading my in this direction! How can this not be the right thing? Well, I still think it is, and I need to have more faith that God is going to help me out here, despite how my mom can't front the money. It'll be ok, I think. I'm still making a little money. I need to stop spending so much. I need to start focusing on what I really want instead of what I want but don't necessarily need. What I really want is to go to UCLA and live with my Aunt Holly, so therefore, I gotta keep those things in the front of my brain.

God's gonna help me on this one. I know He will. I have the faith that he will. Which reminds me that I have to tell a story later. It's kinda small, but to me, it's pretty awesome!

Peace out!
carly.
My Life Bulliten
Ok! Cassie's wedding is in less that four weeks, and I'm nervous! Me! Why?!? I don't know why! Maybe because it's my sister's wedding and I'm a bridesmaid and I haven't worn a dress since I was five and I'm totally paranoid about what my arms look like in a strapless prom looking thing that my mom calls a "gown".

If I swore, I probably would right about now, but I don't, so I have to settle with saying "fudge" over and over again with absolute articulation because people might think that I was saying something else and cause them to think to themselves, (if they knew me, anway), Dude, I thought she was a Christian... And that's not cool.

So tomorrow is the senior Awards Ceremony where everyone from the class of 2002 and their parents gathers in a crowded auditorium to watch everyone receive some kind of an award except for myself. I think everbody should get some sort of award so that they are encouraged, even if it's really small. For example,

"Our next award goes to Bobby Boberson for blinking more often than anyone else in his class!" Seriously, I would give that person a standing ovasion. I could never get that type of award!

I will be out of school on the 13th, both in College and in High School. I've begun to count the days. Of course, (and you'll all probably hate me for saying this), I hate the weekends because I have absolutely nothing to do. I long for school to come back every time Friday night hits because I couldn't possibly have an entertaining weekend.

Wow... I can totally feel my self-pity in this post. I should stop. I feel kinda pathetic, and normally I don't... So... I'm gonna go now.


*This is your Captain speaking... Pity me. Please, please pity me!!! ... . . .. . ... . .. .Ok, you can stop now.
Thanks again for choosing jeffersonair.