www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from carlybish. Make your own badge here.
Here's a taste...

The gentleman behind the airline counter, located approximately 20 feet from me, is the hottest thing I’ve seen since I’ve crossed the Canadian border. Dressed in his finest WestJet attire, sporting a leather messenger bag and a gruff beard, he looks as sharp as a Harvard Law student. He speaks now, “Hello, everybody. Welcome to WestJet Airlines. This is our first boarding call for flight 540 to Ottawa, Ontario. We will now board seats 24-30, so please have your ticket and photo ID ready for checking. Thank you.”

I watch him as I gather my things to prepare for my next flight. I haven’t been in Calgary more than 45 minutes before getting on the next plane. Quickly, I make my way to the ticket counter, ticket and photo ID in hand.

“Hello,” he smiles through his young whiskers. I hand him my driver’s license and after first glance, he asks, “Washington?”

“Yes…” I chuckle a bit at what he must be thinking. “Seattle, actually.”

He smiles a bit wider, rips my ticket and hands them both back to me, “Carly.” He pauses. “Thank you for flying with us.”

This morning at 5:15 AM, after hugging my brother and father “goodbye”, I took the shuttle bus from the hotel to Vancouver International Airport. With me, I had several pieces of luggage. My laptop bag and backpack would accompany me on the plane. But I also brought my guitar and a huge case full of clothes and miscellaneous necessities. Those I checked in Vancouver.

I love airports. They are perfect for people-watching and unique experiences. I love the culture and the diversity that comes with going to an airport. And today has been no different.

Now, while I love airports and enjoy traveling, being in the air tends to make me a bit sick. I’ve traveled by car, ship, and train, but none of them make me feel quite so ill like airplanes do. When the lady at the ticket counter asked me if I’d like an aisle or window seat, I promptly said, “Aisle.” In the past when I’ve had a window seat, I fear I may have ruined the flight for those sitting next to me due to how often I had to use the lavatory.

So I took my aisle seat this morning, put my laptop bag in the overhead compartment and stuffed my backpack underneath the seat in front of me. Making myself comfortable, I watched as the rest of the passengers boarded the plane, while waiting patiently for the two others who would take the seats next to me.

A very nice flight attendant patrolled the plane, checking to make sure no one was using their mobile phones and that every tray was put in its upright position. As she passed me, she spotted by backpack jutting out a bit too far behind the seat.

“Would you mind pushing your bag all the way under the seat there, love?” She spoke with a British accent. It didn’t matter what she said; everything sounded like a song.

“Absolutely,” I said, readjusting the bag.

“Thank you very much. Just squish it on down there,” she smiled and proceeded down the aisle.

By the time she left, a man came to take the seat next to me. He wore a business suit and a long black pea coat. He put his bag and coat in the overhead and took the seat next to me. I adjusted myself to give him enough room. After we both settled in, he asked me, “So where’re you headed?”

“Ottawa,” I replied. I have always felt that conversation is a great way to pass the time.

“Oh really?” The man pulled out a comb and used it to part his tresses. He looked like a stockbroker to me.

“Yes. Where are you going?” I asked.

“Winnipeg.” He put the comb away.

“Oh, neat. Where is that?”

At this, he laughed heartily and looked at me. But he quickly realized I was serious and he felt a bit awkward. His face was asking, You really don’t know?

I realized that every Canadian must know where Winnipeg is and decided to clarify, “Well, I’m American. I really don’t know Canadian geography.”

“Oh… Oh…” The man laughed a little and sat back in his seat. My question appeared to make him a little edgy. So I decided not to press for an answer.

My flight to Calgary, Alberta, was no longer than an hour. And neither was the layover. I was able to make a quick run through the airport before making my way back to Gate D48 to admire the sexy Alberta man who would rip my ticket. There is a very interesting feature in the Calgary airport and they are the large toy airplane mobiles that reach halfway to the ceiling, which is pretty high. At first glance, I thought they were indoor carnival rides for the small children who may fly in and out of the airport. But they were, in fact, large model airplanes swung from a large centerpiece; merely a decoration.

We have just passed over a large area known as “The Prairie”, located in the Alberta province. We’ve been in the air for a little more than an hour. This plane is less crowded than the one this morning. There is an empty seat between an older man and me. He currently sits reading his Canadian newspaper by the window light.

Just a moment after the plane lifted from the ground, he said, “The room here is nice.”

“Yes, it is,” I smiled.

“You wouldn’t mind if I put my paper in this seat, would you?” He rested the paper in the empty seat.

I shook my head. “Oh, no. That’s just fine.”

After a moment, I continued to try for conversation. “It’s nice because we won’t have to fight for elbow space.”

“Exactly.” He is a older man, with white hair and hairy arms. He wears a sweater vest and a bow tie and his prescription glasses hang around his neck.

I felt a bit anxious so I asked, “Would you happen to know the time?”

Rotating his wrist, he looked. “It’s 10:10.”

“Okay. That must be Calgary time.”

“No no… That’s Vancouver time. You were on the same flight as me coming from Vancouver.”

The seat I was assigned in Vancouver was the same for my flight out of Calgary. Since we were both coming from Vancouver, I found it interesting that I didn’t remember him. But I couldn’t have because he obviously wasn’t assigned the same seat as the other flight.

“Oh! You’re coming from Vancouver too? I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I was in the seat behind this one,” he smiled. “And you’re very pretty, so it was easy to remember your face.”

“Oh… Thank you,” I blushed. “What was your name?”

“I’m Dick.”

“I’m Carly.”

And we’ve been sitting here, chatting off and on ever since. He’s still reading his newspaper and I’m documenting my travels in hopes to pass the time. Presently, it’s 10:39 AM Pacific time and I won’t arrive to Ottawa until approximately 1:10 PM. Still have a ways to go.

But thus far, I’d say I’ve had a fabulous start. I’ve met a very nice man who knows a lot about Canada and the cookies they’ve handed out have been really tasty. But as usual, it’s really just the beginning.
First of all, this is funny.

Secondly, I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Vancouver, Canada. I have my dad and brother to accompany me. I'm not sure what we'll do when we get there, but knowing us, I'm positive it will be a great time.

Tuesday morning, I'll fly out of Vancouver International, connect in Calgary, Alberta, and leave from there to arrive in Ottawa.

After that? It's really unknown.

I'll try to stick around. Otherwise, enjoy the lack of my presence. Truly. I have been here for too long.
To my dedicated Canadian readers

Like this'll be anything of real interest, but so you know, I learned your anthem a long time ago. But not the melody in which it is sung. However, since I am leaving for your country in a mere two days, I vow to learn how to sing it precisely for when I arrive.

O Canada!

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Believe it or not, I think I'm suffering from some anxiety. Actually, I think I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, but only recently has it started to effect my body as well as my mind.

My heart pounds daily. Too hard, I feel. Either I'm a statistic and will die shortly of heart disease or it's a sympton of anxiety. That is my diagnosis. I can lay down on my bed and see the pulse of my heart through the fabric of my shirt. Obviously, I have to concentrate to see it, but the fact that I can see it doesn't seem right.

Money-issues. My upcoming trip. The loneliness I've been having*. I strongly believe it's all adding up to one mega case of anxiety. Not depression, no no no. But a definite case of anxiety.

For the first time in my life, I'm starting to wonder if I should talk to someone about it. Perhaps the day has come when my pride and so-called "self strength" has caved. Or maybe I've always been a few pillars short from a sound foundation and only now allowing people to help carry the load. At this point, I'm really not sure.

*Happy flipping Valentine's Day. I completely forgot!
I painted this for my friend, Jessica.



And I wrote her a short verse on the back.

Let's float around the Moon
Collecting stars along the way
Moving through the galaxy
Before night turns into day
Not Justifying, Just Saying

I have been a grouch as of late. And I feel as though I've been trying to cover up my grouchiness with an excess amount of specific word usage. Like "uber," "wicked," and "awesome."

It's interesting to me that I am, in fact, the one who noticed my own need for an attitude adjustment. Usually, it takes a random, "What is your problem?! Seriously!" for me to see my own Scroogy persona.

But not this time.

The moment I realized I've been a grouch was not more than two minutes ago. Sitting here in front of my computer screen, wondering where everyone is at this very moment. And I suddenly saw how much I wish I wasn't me and could trade places with just about any one of my friends.

I think envy is the heart of the issue.

I envy my brother for his popularity in high school, even though I graduated almost two years ago. I envy Leah for her endless pursuit to hear God's voice, despite how I know I could do the same. I envy my friends for their recent engagements, while I simultaneously plan on the gifts to buy them. I envy my roommate for her two year relationship with a really great guy. I envy my sister's marraige. I envy my parents' success.

I feel so stuck. And utterly miserable. More than anything, I wish I could go back and relive a few years. Just to remember how it felt to see a friend around each corner. Because now, it seems that friends are in every corner but my own.

And now, I cry. Because I miss having my friends so much. The last time I cried was November 17th. A long while ago. I am so incredibly lonely. I've started to resent Messenger and my phone, because they are the only things I have to communicate with my best friends.

I miss hugging so... very... much.
The dead silence following that last post is loud and clear.

I've made a new friend in the art and auction word. Her name is Janece. Her work can be seen here. And her blog is here.

I sold my "Stairs" painting. Which truly shocked me. The man who bought it is from Santa Barbara, California and his name is Dan. His last name is Kepl. How would you go about pronouncing that name?

Kepple?

Keppel?

Kep?
(The "L" is silent.)

It's really a tough one to call. Honestly, I just want to call him "Dan Kelp," because when you say it enough, the word "kelp" is really fun to say.

Anyhow. Enough of my banter. I think I have more paintings for sale in my "eBay progress" than I ever have before. And my newest creation is here, if you care to have a gander.
Shall I go on?

The truth is, Christians suck. And no, I'm not going to apologize. How often in your life have you met someone truly representing Jesus in the way God would want them to? In your life, how often have you seen Jesus shining in the faces of His believers? Once? Perhaps twice? Groups of kids from bible camp don't count and neither do the hosts of the 700 Club. They're all delightful and I give them props for whatever bible thumping they do. But we don't know who they are.

Whoever he is, she is, why are we obsessed with their sin? We trail their actions the same way the papparazzi oogles for a shot of J-Lo. Which is disgusting.

They? They are the people we care about most. Those we worry about and wish the best for. They are our friends and our family. The ones we do know and have a personal relationship with. The people who expect only one thing from me every single day, and that is to love them. For who they are. Not for what right choices they made the day before and not for the wrong ones they'll make tomorrow.

And I'm not perfect. In no way do I feel I exemplify Christ in an ideal fashion. Right now, I am hungry, thirsty, and dissatisfied in my spiritual walk. Having confessed this, I naturally predict a flood of hands and arms, ready to embrace me and remind me of God's eternal grace.

This, I do not need. Nor do I want.

Instead of a hug and expected, "So what's new with you?" which I (being completely truthful) read as an obligated act of the church and a way to discover the reasons behind my "falling astray", I would rather you run up to me with your tongue hanging out of your mouth, shouting, "Dude, where have you been? Give it to me straight so I can go gossip up a storm and screw the whole story up!"

I spend my days looking for people (Christian and non) who genuinely wish to just love people. There are people in this world who are seeking a God who will love them exactly as they are, and unfortunately, we are the representatives God has chosen to reveal Himself. Whether or not we choose to act upon this responsibility, it ultimately comes down to accepting those we come into contact with. Realize that our selfish desire for gossip and the reasons why are what stop us from reaching our real goal--

Their hearts. I don't know how else to put it.
Counting down the days until I leave for Canada. At the present time, I am at ten days. Just ten measly days until I set out on a new adventure. I'll see Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City, parts of Novia Scotia, and I'll be popping over to Sussex, New Brunswick, to visit one very tall friend with one very sweet girlfriend. And with two strapping young Canadian gents to keep me company all the while.

It's slightly frustrating when the best two weeks of your life linger only one week and three days ahead. It's just a feeling I have in the warmest part of my heart. The part that tells me this is long overdue. And while I'm surrounded by voices (mostly belonging to me) reminding me of every worry, concern, and doubt that exists in life... There is comfort in the unknown. Like God bumping my shoulder and asking, "Remember that little thing I taught you called 'faith'?"

So here I go. Plunging into dark waters. Rather, I feel as though I've plunged into way too much paint. It seems as though the orange and blue never wash off. I've been painting so much... I keep hoping, praying, that people will like my work and realize they cannot live without it and simply must buy more, more, more. Desperation seems a daily emotion for me. Nothing so bad to complain about, but enough to motivate me to just keep painting, just keep painting... Painting. Painting. Paint.

I've been painting so much that for the last week or more, I have neglected playing my guitar. But tonight, Amy asked if I would play some of her favourite tunes. When someone actually makes requests, I cannot deny them. For their asking is the purest form of flattery a musician can receive. So I played and played and got lost in lyrics I didn't know were inside of me...

People tell me I can be whatever I want to be
But all I want to be is the girl by your side
Everyone says I can choose to do what I want
But all I want is to want you forever

But people don't know how far I'd go
To prove that love is real
The world can't catch me, that I know
I'm a secret you can't steal

People think I was meant for certain things
The truth is, I was only meant for you
They scoff and ignore all my wildest dreams
Only because they've never dreamt before


Nothing seems to slow me down. Except for perhaps, a chick-flick and a couple of cookies. Other than that, I don't ever stop. Even as I sit here, I'm thinking about all the the things I can do tomorrow. What I will do. What I must do. Sometimes, I feel as though responsibility gets in the way of my ambitions. I suppose that's the way it's got to be for now. One day, when I am financially adequate, my responsibilities will be my ambitions, and in that way, they won't really feel like responsibilities anymore. Just another fun day in the life of one who's living.
The following is a composite of film characters I believe possess, within their worded bodies, a little piece of myself. Or perhaps, little pieces which I covet internally, knowing full well that coveting is wrong. But still, I covet.

  • Passion: "Danielle De Barbarac" played by Drew Barrymore in the classic Cinderella-tale, Ever After. The following scene takes place on the shores of a small river. Sitting side-by-side, the Prince of France and Danielle, whose true identity is a servant, discuss politics and social inequalities among the French people. The Prince's snide remarks lead Danielle to scolding him.


  • Prince Henry: First I'm arrogant and now I have no pride, however do I manage that?
    Danielle: You have everything and still the world holds no joy.
    Yet you insist on making fun of those who would see it for its possibilities.
    Prince Henry: How do you do it?
    Danielle: What?
    Prince Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion. Don't you find it exhausting?
    Danielle: Only when I'm around you... Why do you like to irritate me so?
    Prince Henry: Why do you rise to the occasion?
    Both: (Laugh)

    There she is, in the presence of Prince Henry, who is not only French but also the most eligible bachelor of the times, and she repremands him for his charming ignorance. She could very well schmooze the Prince and aim for the thrown, but no. She stays true to herself and disagrees with him, blatently, and he loves her all the more for it. Now that's charming.

  • Humour: "Anna Scott" played by Julia Roberts in the lovely and unforgettable film, Notting Hill. After a series of photos are submitted to the tabloids, Hollywood actress "Anna Scott" runs to "William", a humble man who owns a travel book shop. The two had met early on in the story and Anna is quickly intrigued by William's quiet, genuine nature, who is in no rush for her autograph. In William's flat, Anna relaxes and lounges on the couch while William reads a newspaper.


  • Anna: You've got big feet.
    William: Yes... Always have had.
    Anna: You know what they say about men with big feet?
    William: No... What's that?
    Anna: Big feet--Large... shoes.
    William: (Laughs heartily)

    Once again, another woman who desires only to be herself. Her colours shine when she's wrapped up in a gray sweatshirt, which is far too big for her, and listening to the sound of her bare feet on the hardwood floor. She doesn't have to be this keen actress, perfect in every way, which her character seems obligated to portay. She makes the teensiest of jokes about Hugh Grant's feet and it's enough to make him laugh from the inside out. That scene is how I often feel life should be.

  • Eccentricity: "Lucy Eleanor Moderatz" played by Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping. I would try to explain the plot of this film, because generally speaking, it's quite simple. But to explain one part would require to explain every part and to understand the film in it's entirety is missing the point. The following conversation is had when "Lucy" storms into her boss' office and places a sticky note on his desk.

    Jerry: What's this?
    Lucy: It's a wedding invitation.
    Jerry: Wait a minute! This is your wedding invitation!
    Lucy: So?
    Jerry: Whom are we marrying?
    Lucy: Jerry...(Points to Post-It) Peter Callaghan.
    Jerry: The coma guy?! Are you insane?
    Lucy: Yes, Jerry, I'm insane. Everyday, I go and I sit in a booth like a veal.
    I work every holiday. I go home to a cat. And now a rich and handsome man
    has asked me to marry him, and I have said "yes."
    Okay, okay, that makes me a raving, total lunatic!
    Jerry: The wedding is tomorrow, Lucy!
    Lucy: I know it's tomorrow, Jerry! But you know what? I even wish it were yesterday!
    Because you know what that would mean? That today I would be on my honeymoon,
    I would finally have a stamp in my passport, and that it would say "Italy" on it!
    Jerry: What happened with the other guy?
    Lucy: ...He didn't want me.

    Loneliness and the overwhelming desire for magic and romance will drive people to sanity sometimes. I love Sandra Bullock's character in this movie. All she wants are stamps in her passport and a man to go home to instead of her cat. It shouldn't shock you while I chose this particular character to relate myself to.

    I promise I really am more complex than the combination of these three particular characters, but these are the top three. Which movie character (or characters) do you relate to?
  • Night & Day.

    My newest eBay item up for auction. Actually, there are two paintings here. But I am selling them as a pair. These are probably my favourite paintings I've done thus far this year.
    Babysitting Conversations

    Returning from a trip to Jamba Juice, Elise read the fun sayings printed on her cup.

    Elise: Carly, listen to this. It's so true.
    Carly: Okay.
    Elise: "Do unto your body as you would have your body do unto you."
    Carly: Hmm...
    Elise: Isn't that so true?
    Carly: Yes, I suppose so. It's almost like a Bible Verse.
    Elise: It's true because you don't want to hurt yourself. On purpose.
    Carly: Right. Like, you want to eat healthy foods. And exercise.
    Elise: Yeah. And you don't want to rip your own arm off or something.
    Carly: Yes. Exactly. Because that would be bad.
    What Is That Supposed to Mean?

    Harry: I mean nothing bothers you! You never get upset about anything!
    Sally: Don't be ridiculous!
    Harry: What? You never get upset about Joe. I never see that back up on you. How is that possible? Don't you experience any feelings of loss?
    Sally: I don't have to take this crap from you!
    Harry: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
    Sally: I see people!
    Harry: See people, have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
    Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove that I'm over Joe, because I [screwed] somebody? Harry, you're going to have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you! Besides--I will make love to somebody when it is 'making love', not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something!
    Harry: Are you finished now?
    Sally: Yes.
    Harry: Can I say something?
    Sally: Yes.
    Harry: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.


    When it comes to bitterness and grudges, like Sally Albright, I like to turn the other way. I very much enjoy the forgiving-and-forgetting way of life. Not that I forget the past so much as I get over it. For some, resentment is a form of comfort. Some will even admit (proudly), "I know I'm holding it against him (or her), but I don't know any other way to feel." As if admitting it justifies the reasons for being a cynical bastard. I thought our character flaws were ones we tried to fix, not ignore and write off as "genetic traits" attained from childhood.

    There is always room for improvement, I only need to be willing, open, and accepting. More simply, I only have to listen. Shut up. Pay attention.

    Listen.

    I confess, I am stubborn. When I decide I want to do something (bad enough), there isn't much anyone can say or do that will change my mind. However, despite acknowledging this about myself, I don't want to use it as an excuse to be stupid. Just because you can't convince me otherwise does not mean I haven't considered every bit of advice you have provided me.

    A long time ago, I decided that forgiving would be something I practiced. Of course, I've had my sour moments and said things I wish I hadn't. "I don't want you to talk to me for a very long time," was probably my worst. I am certainly not perfect in my quest to forgive others, but at least I try. And I'm not saying it's easy as "It's okay," and moving straight on from there. When I forgive someone, I continue to forgive them. Even for the same whatever event. I have to choose to forgive. I have to force myself to forgive. Sometimes, I think I'd feel better if I just stayed angry and wisht pure anguish upon my wrong-doers, but what kind of person would I be? Not a happy one, I'd say.

    You know what turns me on? When someone is strong enough in their self to accept that they don't need to have the last word, even when they know they're right. Or wrong, for that matter. Man or woman, if you think twice and speak once (something a friend once told me), you will be the Wiser. But it takes balls to shut up and listen. Real balls.

    And practice. It takes a lot of practice.