Welcome to Funkytown.

Today was ridiculously fun. I went roller skating. That's right! It was old school! And I got blisters! I can't believe roller skating was so much more challenging than any time I've roller bladed or ice skated. Try turning on those things! It's not nearly as easy to do as with roller blades, with wheels in single file that make smooth, curvy corners as pleasant as eating cake!

Of course, Mr. PerfectAtEverything, could skate laps around me--but didn't because he's nice like that--as well as occasionally performing this nifty thing where he would turn around in a beautiful twist, gliding gracefully backwards across the hardwood floors. All the while I maintained focus, trying not to trip over my left toe, which had a strong, impulsive desire to collide into my right toe on a constant basis.

I fell at least seven times. Which was new for me, and I liked feeling something different! It's not often I think to myself, Wow! I'm really bad at this! And I liked that. It made me appreciate the things I am good at. And it made it a lot easier to laugh at myself when I fell flat on my face.

However, I do have to give myself a little bit of credit. I should have figured George would be great at all that stuff anyway. Just the night before, we were hanging out in the parking lot in front of Subway and he was doing flips and landing on his feet and springing into handstands and breaking into sprints, like he did when he ran track in high school... It was really fun to watch.

I know incredible people.

You Do That!

Have you ever tried to spell out an email address to someone? Over the phone? It's not as simple as you may think!

Today, I found a house for rent and after negotiating with the lessor over the phone, she decided to give me her email address. She spelt it once and then I tried to confirm its correct spelling.

"Okay, let me double check to see I have this right."

"Alright."

"It's 'g', like 'goat'..."

"Yes."

"'P' like 'pig'..."

"Yes."

"'E' like 'elephant'..."

"Uh huh."

"'A' like 'aardvark'..."

"Yep."

"And the letter 'r' like... um... like 'rastafari'?"

"..."

"And then the numbers 7-2-7-6-5 at AOL dot com?"

"Yeah, that's right. What did you say for the letter 'r' again?"

"Um. 'Rastafari?'"

"...I don't even know what that is."

"Actually, I don't either," I lied.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"Alright, so I'll email you."

"Okay, you do that."

Rastafari?! RASTAFARI?! How about "rabbit" or "rhinoceros?" "Rattlesnake?" "Reindeer?" "Raccoon?!"

Nope. I said "rastafari."

Brilliant, really.

Poetry.

This is very comforting.

Dear Starbucks Customer Letter #2

Dear Starbucks Drive-Thru Customer Who Orders from the Passenger Seat,

Please understand that you are at a further distance than say, the driver, in relation to the speaker. So when I ask you to repeat your order because I'm having difficulty hearing you, please consider my position. Do not get out of the car and scream into the speaker, "I WANT A MOCHA LATTE!" because truthfully, it really hurts my head. When I confirm your order, saying, "Alright, sir. What size mocha would you like?" Please don't argue with me and scream even louder into the speaker, "NO! I SAID I WANT A MOCHA LATTE!!" because that hurts even worse. When I try to explain the difference between a mocha and a latte, please don't get frustrated. I'm only trying to help.

Sincerely,
Starbucks Employee #1318456